The Saga Continues!
In 2016 I began researching WHY some of my tasks got done and many, many others did not – over and over and over again. I asked friends if they too, found it difficult to get things done on a consistent basis; if they noticed certain goals were easier to accomplish than others or if they had any goals that consistently remained out of reach. Overall what became apparent was, there are two types of people in my world – those who are adept at holding themselves accountable. They set goals, then with laser focus, buckle down and get the tasks done. They aren’t easily distracted from what they need to do nor are they concerned with having to answer to anyone.
Then there are my friends who do much better if there’s someone they have to check in with or report to. Whether that person is a teacher, a parent, romantic partner, coach, or friend, it didn’t matter. What mattered was they had someone to lovingly hold their feet to the fire so to speak; they provided support and encouragement but didn’t accept excuses. I am one of those people who needs outside accountability in order for me to stay focused and on track with getting my @#$% done.
This “accountability relationship” is not about people-pleasing, or doing things out of fear of rejection. Instead, the two people involved accept their roles – the “do-er” accepts that they are ultimately responsible for getting the tasks done, no one else is going to come in and do them. They also understand that their “accountability buddy” …
*ahem* as I was saying, the “accountability buddy” is going to push them to get out of their comfort zones. Not because they’re mean, unfeeling, or caring, but just the opposite. They want you to SUCCEED and they know that means having to give up comfort and move through fear. They know you’re going to need a shoulder to cry on sometimes, and a kick in the butt in others. The “do-ee” or “buddy” if you will, respects the “do-er’s” ideas and ways of going about things. They may ask questions, provide strategies but ultimately, they’re there to provide that outside “yay!”
Once I understood how these types of relationships work I began practicing how to be an “accountability buddy”
Sorry about that. Seriously, I realized I wanted to be of service in the relationships I have. I wanted to help my friends in ways that made a difference in their lives. I listened more and tried to understand my friends and family member’s goals. I attempted to remain objective, not offer any, “this is how I’d do it” type of advice. I avoided jumping in with my ideas or suggestions and instead asked, “how may I help you reach your goal?” I wanted to know if they needed me to regularly check on their progress, or maybe set aside time for a ‘work date’ where we’d get together and focus on getting one of their to-do’s to done.
In the last post of the series, I’ll tie it all together and introduce you to Real Life Living :-). See you again soon!